Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, February 16

Friday Fives

1. What’s the longest time you’ve spent standing?

I don't remember. As I find things like that terribly unpleasant, I block them out. The toughest thing I remember doing regarding my legs was flying across the country with a broken ankle. I had crutches, but they couldn't give me any kind of special seating... or even an aisle. Of course, I was at the window in the back of the plane. Know how skinny those aisles are? Wait until you do it in crutches. Also, because the crutches were long, they had to take them from me after I sat down and stow them up front. So, hope you don't have to go to the bathroom or escape a plane crash in the next five hours.

2. What makes you afraid?

uncertainty, spiders, and bees.

3. Would You Rather… die in a car crash- or -die in plain crash?

Neither! Ha, suck it Nall! Ok ok, I would choose the plain crash because you would die quickly and wouldn't feel anything. In a car crash, you would live for a few hours. Plus, there is a myth that the rapid decompression of the plane as it descends would make you pass out. So, no ouchie... right?

Sidebar: A few years ago we flew to London and they gave us the obligatory speach on water landings. Go ahead and reference a globe right now, I will wait. The chance of a 'water landing' is not that far off, really. We were in the most excellent and favoritest plane of mine... the 777. This plane's cruising speed is over 700 miles an hour. It's cruising altitude is high, like miles up.

A plane hitting the water at over 700 miles an hour at a 45 degree bank isn't what I would call a 'water landing'. It is what I would call 'crashing into the ocean at over 700 miles per hour. Also, this is the Atlantic. That is the thing with icebergs that took down the Titanic. This isn't the Pacific, which is good times Gilligan's Island.

4. Do you like to spy on people?

I like to spy on news more than people. Does that make sense? I am hooked on which scours several hundred news sources every minute for text. Whereas the regular google only catalogues and caches about once a week. I could write an article for Blogcritics that says Reverend Ted Haggard caught feasting on Asian babies, and it would be instantly searchable to the world. Of course, I wouldn't do that because Rev Haggard was actually caught eating Vietnamese babies. Mostly, I use it to find out if Axl is ever going to finish that album.

5. What line won’t you cross?

the equator. Aw come on, that was funny! Tell you what, here is a phrase I prefer to think I live by: Integrity is what you do when no one is looking.

Peace, and have a great weekend. See you at Pete's tomorrow night.


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