Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, February 8

Friday Fives

1. Who is a good friend?

You are, dear reader, you are. Also, Roy is a great pal who taught me how to do this online ranting business, and encouraged me as well.

2. What feels good today?

When you touch me right there, just like that.

3. Do you drink wine?

you bet your hairless ass I do! Almost exclusively Merlot. I love a merlot that is not too sweet, and not too warm. This 'room temperature' business is crap. If you are drinking your red wine at 72 degrees, you are drinking vinegar. I learned this super awesome rule of thumb from some wine show, it is called the 20 minute rule. If you keep your red wine in the fridge, pull it out 20 minutes before you are ready to drink it. If your wine is on the counter, put it in the fridge 20 minutes before you drink it. Trust me, this totally works.

4. Would you rather be me, or a panda?

tough question, as I am already me. That being said, I would go with being a panda. Who doesn't love a panda?

5. Who was the bully on your playground?

Well, I'll tell you the last physical fight I was in. Dude's name was Todd and he was a dick. I was about 7 years old. Don't remember why we fought, just that it happened on the playground. I lost. My knee went out on me and I fell in great pain. What sucked, and has always haunted me, is that I lost not because he beat me up... but because my knee snapped out of place. Fast forward almost 30 years and I am recovering from yet another knee surgery. My knees have been an achilles heel all my life. After this surgery, I am thinking I'll be bionic. I mean, I don't really have anything more to replace.

As for you Todd, your time is coming. In fact, let's go ahead and set the time and place, bitch. I won't be back in Phoenix until probably September. Let's you and me meet on the playground at Hopi Elementary at 12:15 pm on September 3rd. Got it? If you aren't there, it counts as a forfeit... that's all I am saying. good luck, Todd.


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