Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, February 22

Friday Fives

1. If you were a crayon, which color would you want to be?

Purple. Wanna know why? Because there was never ever a purple crayon. I thought that was so stupid. The closest they came was 'violet'. I mean, even if you got that sweet ass box with the sharpener built right into the back... still no purple. So, to me growing up, purple was a sign of individuality and 'sticking it to the man'. Also, there are no words who rhyme with Purple.

2. Which color do you think you would be regardless of what you wanted?

certainly not orange. Since I grew up in Phoenix and was always outside in the pool, I was a tan little bugger. So, I guess I will be skin cancer brown.

3. Would you rather be used and get blunt, broken and lose your wrapper, or not be used and stay pristine?

Oh baby, is it better to burn out than to fade away? I am having more blunt causing moments these days than I care to admit. Remember what Shakespeare taught us, though. Tis better to have been used as a crayon a bit too much, then never to have made it out of the box.

4. Would you rather be in a small set of crayons or a large set?

I am a small, specific, and unique set. I am more useful than you remembered, and often tough to find. I contain almost entirely great memories, even if I am a two trick pony.

5. Would you rather be Crayola, or a different brand?

crayola, of course. I mean, being unique is swell and all, but who wants to be an off brand? Remember when you would ask your mom to buy you oreos and she would come home with those Hydrox? She would try and tell you it was the same shit, but you knew it wasn't. I don't ever want to be Hydrox, or even anything carob. Carob! What the hell was that stuff? Did America run out of chocolate in the 80s? Because I sure remember being offered carob much more than I cared for.


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