Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, June 14

Friday Fives

1. Are you attracted to the naughty or the nice?

the nice, I'm a democrat, remember?

2. Do you let your dirty laundry pile up?

Do you mean metaphorically? If you do, I would say no. If you are talking about dirty clothes, the answer is a big and embarassing yes. See, the damn washing machine is all the way down in the basement. It might as well be ten miles away, especially after a broken ankle and three knee surgeries. This one time, I was at the 'parade of homes' and they had a show home that had the washer and dryer upstairs in the master bedroom closet. How great would that be? Get home from work and throw your crap right in there. Then, like the dishes, leave it a couple of days until it fills. Then, after it dries you just hang it up. NO FOLDING. These are the things I dream of at night, especially considering I am surrounded by filthy clothes on the floor.

3. What's the last excuse you made?

yesterday. It was our wedding anniversary and I totally spaced it. The wife caught on quite quickly. What was worse is I forget if it was our fourth or fifth anniversary. So, I called my brother who got married that same summer. He didn't know either, and so had to ask his wife. Man, we are some sucky ass husbands. No regrets, though, I love my wife.

4. How much cash do you have on you?

none. very very rarely do. Cash goes to quick, and is spent on caffeine. I could drink Starbucks six times a day. You'll be happy to know that I only drink triples, though. Roy drinks this Cafe Americano with two extra shots. Know what that is? FIVE SHOTS of espresso. Roy's big and wonderful and genuine heart is absolutely sure to explode any day now.

5. Can you swim?

yeah, totally. Grew up in Phoenix. You know, 120 degrees in the summer? Most of my childhood transpired in or near a pool.


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