Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, July 12

Friday Fives



1. Do you like it when I do this?

very much so

2. What are your hidden charges?

none, brother. Just a kind word.

3. Why don't people go to the bathroom on TV?

Who cares, man? I don't know the answer to that, but I'll tell you what I do know about bathrooms... since that seems to be your immediate concern. If I wasn't married, and could build any idea I wanted, I'd do this. Firstly, install a male urinal. Second, install a tv with cable int e bathroom. Next, one of those little dorm fridges in the bathroom, too. Yup, there wouldn't be any need to leave... ever. I could get one of those work from home jobs.

4. When do you get up?

about ten minutes after I was supposed to. As you may know, I have major issues with this. I really really like to sleep. Thing is this, I don't like to go to sleep. No, if I had any sense I would be in bed now. It is that when I do finally get to sleep I never want to get up.

I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but I have another awesome vision that I would execute if I were single... a bedroom that is wall to wall bed. See, with me and the wife and two huge dogs... there is simply no room. We have three bedroom in the house. Who needs all that? Not us. I mean, one of the rooms is the cat's... but if I did the whole room bed thing... cat could stay with us there.

I kind of expected applause about this point, for my vision. Instead, all I hear from you is a deafening silence. Indeed, this is why I would have to be single to execute all of this goodness. See, my wife thinks these are as dumb as you do. Thanks for your support on that one, team!

5. What does it taste like?

You'll have to ask my wife. Hot damn that was good, eh? Believe it or not, folks > in order to create genuine and honest answers, I read these questions only as I respond to them. You are getting real time answers from me, as if in conversation. If you are a long time reader, you know the Fives are far from thought out.

This week's Fives brought to you, as almost always, by my great friend and mentor Roy... who for this week's questions shall be referred to as 'gay Roy' until we straighten out his real intentions with this line of questioning.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, my first time responding to the Fives. I didn't want to sign in (lazy) but this is Sandy:

1. Do you like it when I do this?

and how...

2. What are your hidden charges?

Huh? Like on my Mastercard? Like when they don't tell you that it costs like a billion dollars when you use your card in a foreign country. 'Conversion charges'...bunch of shit.

3. Why don't people go to the bathroom on TV?

Do you really want to see that, sicko? I mean I do find it odd that for the most part people don't eat or use the restroom in movies. However, they are celebrities which makes them superpeople, right? So, apparently these people are like vampires and have no need to use the restroom, that's why.

4. When do you get up?

I used to wake up whenever I wanted. That is until I got a real job and then had kids. Once you have kids, you never get to sleep in again which royally sucks.

5. What does it taste like?

I've never tasted an 'IT'.

11:31 AM  

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