Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, July 20

Friday Fives

1.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in your car? If you do not own a car, what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in the car you most frequently ride in?

1%. I don't eat fries, they are super bad for you. Also, I keep my truck really clean. That being said, if there were a fry found... it would be from McDonald's. Though I don't eat there, I love their fries. Seriously, their fries are heads and shoulders above other chain restaurants.

2.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you will eat ice cream sometime in the next four days?

Am going camping, so I can't see ice cream coming into the equation. Wait, scratch that. When we get back on Sunday, it is supposed to be over 100 in Denver. Since we don't have AC, we are likely to grab ice cream and a movie. So, percent wise... 35%

3.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you’ll get a personal, handwritten greeting in the mail sometime in the next week?

2% > not likely at all. My professional correspondences are all electronic, and my family is illiterate. That last one has really been a soft spot for me, but with the help of jesus, I can finally talk about it. Just kidding (about the jesus part... family still illiterate).

4.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there will be rain in your neighborhood within the next forty-eight hours?

they say possibly early this afternoon, before the obscene heat moves in. I would say 10%

5.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that in the next twenty-four hours, you will be in the same room as a naked person other than yourself?

Those odds are very good, being as though I am married. However, as we are camping, I won't see much more action than that. It would appear I am at least scoring at home more than the President. Shadefreuden, indeed, my readers.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is why I am typically not allowed to work from home because I do this instead of working. I'm no different than you other suckers, just that nobody is watching me (haha).

1.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in your car? If you do not own a car, what are the chances that there is a french fry somewhere in the car you most frequently ride in?

1%. I just spent four hours last Saturday cleaning out the car (where many a remnant of fry was found). I am trying not to let the kids eat fries anymore, but they would agree that McDonald's fries rock.

2.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you will eat ice cream sometime in the next four days?

0%. Trying to go vegan and I'm pretty sure that anything that resembles ice cream has dairy.

3.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that you’ll get a personal, handwritten greeting in the mail sometime in the next week?

1% > not likely. Someone might send my kids a card and I might be mentioned as an addressee. That is the only chance because most of the people I know are also illiterate.

4.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that there will be rain in your neighborhood within the next forty-eight hours?

Right now I would say 0% because it is 105 without a cloud in the sky. However, it is monsoon season and it looked the same way this time yesterday and it rained like an MF at night. So, I'll say 70% to hedge my bets.

5.Given as a percentage, approximately what are the chances that in the next twenty-four hours, you will be in the same room as a naked person other than yourself?

100% It is bathnight for the girls. My husband might decide to shave some ungodly area of his body tonight, too.

11:49 AM  

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