Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Monday, August 13

Proud to be a sinister American

I am sinister. Super sinister. how sinister? I am talking about putting baby kittens in a blender kinda sinister. I am the most sinister person I know. I mean really, really sinister. Know what that means? It means bad, evil, darkness, or Democrat... right? Actually, those are all wrong. Righty the man would have you believe I am bad. See, 'sinister' is simply Latin for left handed. Yeah, we get a bad rap. What do you know about your left handed neighbors? Well, Imma gonna learn ya.

10% of Americans are lefties. In the animal kingdom, handedness is found evenly dispersed. Because we are right brained, lefties are move creative. Creative being the veiled way of saying 'weird'. Seriously, think of the weirdest person you know, I bet you they are left handed. Lefties don't live as long as righties, because things are made for righties. What kind of things? Well; cars, chainsaws, guns, scissors. There are many others, but these are the things that can kill folks.

The life of a lefty is one of scorn, adjustment, and super bad handwriting. Be glad, though. Things used to be worse. In the olden days (50 years ago and back) teachers and society tried to correct left handedness. Guess what, it doesn't work... and in fact makes things worse. Lefties are more likely to stutter, and become alcoholics. Fun, huh? Today is national Lefthanded day, and it is high time y'all start appreciating us.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

But everyone knows that lefties are the work of the devil. Only Jesus can cure that! I sense Satan in your ramblings. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

God bless you and our president.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im christian and left handed there is nothing wrong with beinga leftie it doesnt say anything about that in the bible and ht eleft is where our heart is

3:08 PM  

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