Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Monday, April 21

Crisis gate - day 2

So, this is day two of my being locked out of my Wordpress account. Being the genial and likeable type, I wanted to contact the good folks at Wordpress and see what the issue was. What was my violation? I'll fix it, I swear (unless if involves apologizing to that piece of mudslime Gingrish).

So, I go to their 'support' page. There is supposed to be a phone number there. However, it says they are closed. Looking at their hours, though, they should have opened an hour ago.

Do you know what this is like? Do you remember that movie 'The Net' featuring a plucky young Sandra Bullock? Here is what happened, she was a programmer or something. She angered some super bad hacker dudes. They deleted her life online (credit reports, credit cards, drivers license, bank accounts) and then spent the rest of the movie chasing her around in big black SUV trying to kill her. That is exactly what this experience has been like.

I mean, that movie was made long long ago. Basically, before any real concept of the Internet was understood. We learned a lesson, though. If an attack like this could happen to plucky young Sandra Bullock... it could happen to you. Worse, it could happen to me. Way worse, it DID. You think I am being funny? Check this, tough guy. Bullock made that movie in 1995. Water under the bridge, right?

No sir. Just this weekend they tried to kill her. Seriously, read this. It starts with a bad script and a plucky young actress. I mean, I used to love Sandra Bullock. That was until she stopped acting for about fifteen years and did nothing but romantic comedies. Still, the Net has not forgiven nor forgotten her. You have been warned. The black silent miniature helicopters are circling the building now. I haven't much time.

If they ever take me, please remember this: stay the hell of my lawn!


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