Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Friday, December 10

Friday Fives

1. The world ends tomorrow and only you can save it - by appearing as a contestant on a Reality TV show. Which show would you pick.

The Amazing Race! You get to see the world, first off. Second, the couples that fail seem to fail because of horrible communication, or no ability to adjust to the insanity and constant changing environment that is world traveling. I think my wife and I would kick major ass. We have traveled together to Costa Rica, Mexico, Spain, and England. Yes, we bicker just like the folks on TV... but we are focused. We also love to travel and both speak Spanish. Plus, the host (Phil Keoguan) is dreamy!

2. Armed only with a used deodorant dispenser, a hammer and some woodscrews, and a hanky, craft a Charming Christmas present for Granny.

Well, I'd make what any self respecting grandchild would make... a terrible, terrible likening of a birdhouse. She would love it. Sadly, both sets of Grandparents are all dead and I miss them so much. Now that I am an adult, there is so much I could have learned from them. I owe everything I am as a person in life to them.

3. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming? (haha, thanks

I don't get it, frankly. I am actually a big fan of swimming, having grown up in Phoenix, AZ. I still swim three times a week at the gym. Now to your question, Roy. As you know, in dreams water represents the unconscious. We are going to do a little pop psychology dream analysis here. Trust me, I studied this stuff for years and take it pretty seriously. If you are having dreams about avoiding water, you are avoiding your own subconscious... yourself. It means you are afraid to confront something about yourself. You are aware of it... but push it out of your mind with little distractions. for me it is my weight. I need to drop at least 10 pounds. I don't know what your secret is, only you do. I can only offer this advice, jump in the pool brother! No one is looking and no one will judge you. The pool represents you.

4. Name the top five reasons you still believe in Santa Clause.

Well, the birth of Santa Claus is the real reason we are all having this discussion right? Well, that is a great question I was just discussing with Renee. Keep in mind, these answers come from a stone cold atheist.
  • 1. Christmas is an important cultural holiday. It is something we all have together even as strangers. Society could use more of that, it's a good thing.
  • 2. Because apparently the US economy depends entirely on our Christmas spending
  • 3. Because I like to give and get gifts
  • 4. I love decorating for Christmas. Just this evening (mind you, I get home near midnight these days) I was pulling out all the Christmas fixins.
  • 5. Because Christmas brings life and light to the dead of winter. Oh, and that is why we celebrate Christmas, by the way. It was a pagan holiday to celebrate the winter solstice (Dec 22nd) which is the shortest day of the year for daylight. Obviously, things being mostly dead at this time of year. Bringing a live tree inside was a spritual homage to life. Jesus was born in the Spring, it is a fact. The Christians gobbled up Dec 22nd and made it their own holiday. They did that a LOT. Think about it. Easter... what the hell is that? We celebrate the lord's crucifixion and subsequent resurrection with chocolate and bunnies? No sir, Easter started as a fertility right (think of the word Estrous). It had nothing to do with Jesus dying. The early Christians quite wisely just glommed onto existing holidays instead of starting new ones from scratch.
geesh, that was a bummer screed, huh? Anyhow, I told you I was an Atheist. Regardless, Christmas rules. I have put together my annual Christmas Rock CD compilation, by the way. I'll have some out soon, I need to go by blanks this weekend.

5. Your 15-year-old self runs into you today. What would his/her reaction to your adult-ized fashion be?

Funny you should ask. I just answered this question allowed in the blog back in June. No wonder why I call this site 'I am Correct', turns out I answer my own questions before I even ask them. Anyhow, for that gem... just click here.

Thanks, as always, to Roy


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