Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Sunday, March 4

I am retiring, too

Ok, you may have heard the news this week... Jake Plummer is retiring. Jake was the Quarterback for my beloved Broncos. Jake got benched midseason for sucking. No big deal, that happens. You should also know if you read here that I always defended Jake. Oh, they slaughtered him in the media. It was 'Jake the Mistake' etc. Not me, I stood behind him because I have followed his career since he was a Sun Devil (I went to ASU my first year, see). Anyhow, my first thought upon hearing this is 'Don't you have to be good, to retire?'

I know that sounds mean, but the guy is 32. He has about two first round play off games under his belt. That isn't retiring, that is quitting. Retiring is what John Elway did after 15 years and five Superbowls (two of them were wins). When I hear about Jake Plummer 'retiring', I can't help but think of Cyrin' Leaf. If you don't know that football story, I can't go into it now. So, I will give you another analogy.

Jake Plummer saying he is 'retiring' is like saying Tupac was 'assasinated'. No, he wasn't. He was just shot, that's all. Jake is 32, and he is done. I am 34, and so today I am announcing my retirement. Not from writing, I'll always be here for you. I mean from my sucky day job that pays for everything. I ain't quittin', because that is loser talk. Nope, I am retiring. This Friday will be my last day, I expect cake and watches and crap like that. Now I just sit back and go fishing and stuff. Remember, even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat. See you at the lodge, suckers.


Blogger Lono said...

ok, further proof that Jake didn't retire... he quit. Before Jake put up a message on his website acknowledging his retirement, his mom made an announcement.

Sorry Jake, but when the news comes from your mom... that means you quit. On the bright side, I hear Kurt Warner's pushy obnoxious terror of a wife is looking for someone to push around publically.

Ok, that last part was mean.

10:42 AM  

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