Good news from the White House

Not something you expect to hear me say, is it? Me neither. Do you remember Tony Snow? He was the new press secretary for the Bush Crime Family. I really didn't care for him at all. He just came across as a total dick. When you represent total dicks for a living, you should maybe be a likable guy. Scott McClelland was a likable guy. You are a likable guy. Anyhow, Tony Snow stepped down for health reasons.

So I was checkin' cnn.com today, as I do about every waking second. This is where I found her. Her is Dana Perino, the new White House Press Secretary. I haven't heard a word she has said, yet. I can't say anything about her tone, which is super important to me. Here is the thing, though... she is HOT. Holy crap is she hot. I mean, even though is a professional apologist for the Bush Crime Family... she is hot. Seriously, just look at her.

I think this is a great move for the White House. I think it is a great move for Women in leadership positions. Most importantly, I don't have to listen to Tony Snow sneer at me through his elitist jerkface. I say to you, Ms. Perino, that I love you. Good luck in your new position, you have to defend these asshats now. Still, this is a great career move and a dream for journalists everywhere (isn't it? I don't know, I am not a journalist.

What's been wrong

A lot of people have asked me lately, "Lono, what's wrong?". You seem distant, quiet, and you have almost entirely stopped swearing at strangers." It is true, things aren't all good at home, but I am ready to talk about it with you. I don't like the new White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow.

I do not like anything about him. Know that I don't hate him because he works for the most corrupt organization since Nixon. That isn't it at all. So did Scott McClelland and I always like him. You could tell that McClelland was a good guy put in a tough situation. I am nostalgic for the good old days of 'it is the policy of this administration not to comment on an ongoing investigation". That is why he couldn't last. This guy Snow is a freakin' automoton. He speaks with a sneer, and dismisses anything critical of the administration as idiotic. There is absolutely no pathos with this guy. I really believe this guy probably kicks cats and hates puppies. I never even said that about the President and you surely know how I feel about him.

This is a bad move by this administration in my eyes. I want America to be good, and I want America to be liked. I believe we are the bestest and biggest hearted nation. We just aren't showing it with these monsters in office. See, the numbers for this presidency are really bad, and for good reason. The overwhelming majority of Americans have a problem with these guys and do not trust them. To me, that would be the time to bring in a nice person. Remember Dee Dee Myers, under Clinton? She was nice. That Ellen DeGenerous lady? She is nice. My auntie Rose is very nice, and never swears. McClelland was nice. I mean, this is your press guy... the one liason to the outside world. We know that Cheney is a jerk, we know that Bush is a jerk, and now you have brought in a bigger jerk to represent them.

Lastly there is this, his name. Tony. Tony is a diminutive of Anthony. I don't think you should refer to the representative for the biggest and most powerful government on Earth with a diminutive. It belittles the position. I think it is to make him seem like a regular dude. We didn't call McClelland 'Scotty' for the same reason.