Liberals treat dogs like people, Conservatives treat people like dogs

Thursday, January 18

Where are the archives?

If you are like most of my readers, you are wondering how you can get more of my yummy goodness. You are right to be curious, and that is sexy. See, right now my archives aren't working. I have 497 pieces I have written since 2003. Mind you, they aren't all gems. Some, in fact, age as well as velveeta. Others, like my 'Lono for Senate' piece are so goddamn good that they age like Lindsay Lohan (in jail). Oh, my formatting wasn't always great either. Anything over a couple of years and it looks like run on sentences. I want to reformat them, but 497?

I tell you that to tell you this, I have found a sort of work around regarding the archives issue. This site has built into it a search application, with the power of Google. Of course, my archives worked perfectly until Google took over. I am not here to diss the good people at google, though. I love google, by the way. Not only does their search engine rule, they own this application and allow me to write for free. Anyway, you can google search through the entire histroy of this site. The catch is this, you have to know what you are looking for. I think the topics I have written about are sufficiently diverse enough to warrant you just typing anything in. I mean, it will pick up 'shoe' or 'sun'. So, you don't have to be high minded in your goals. Now, for the how:



See that picture right there? See how it matches the upper left portion of your screen? It does. You can use that to run a search that will only index this site. As an example, I used 'United Airlines' because they so often let me down they are like regulars here. This particular search yielded 6 seperate pieces, or 'posts'.

Note that they start with the oldest at the bottom. So, in order for them to make sense, start at the bottom. What is strange is the results that come back seem abridged. For exampe, why didn't my 'RetarTed' piece come up? It is most certainly about United I assure you this will have milk shooting out your nose in no time. I sure hope so, I can't have milk anymore. Wife says it isn't good for us... seriously. Who am I, John Lennon?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW...how nice of YOU to explain to us as if we are idiots, how we can get more of YOU. Thank you for you giving nature and willingness to allow us little people to have more access to YOU!

Your next column should be about Narcisism.

- Grainger

11:20 AM  
Blogger Lono said...

Narcissism? Ouch. Narcissism is for bad poets who write about how deep they are. Come on, look at the name of the site - I am Correct!

This is way beyond narcissism. My opinion of myself would be carcinogenic to lesser people. Call it 'Lonoism'. Thanks for your comments, Grainger. Welcome to me and my meeness.

Frankly, you are blessed to read my work. For years, my genius was self contained. You are all better for having me, and you are all welcome.

12:30 AM  

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